The comedians’ cricket team goes down swatting

Yesterday afternoon, I went to the village of Staplefield in West Sussex, to see the annual cricket match between the locals and a comedians’ cricket team organised with Germanic efficiency by Frank Sanazi.

I am not a great lover of cricket. I think the British Empire may have been built by armies going to foreign countries and insisting that the locals played cricket with the English/British until they lost the will to be independent and handed over their countries and natural resources rather than play another match.

But this cricket match and this cricket team was different.

Yorkshire comedian Keith Platt inexplicably dressed as a footballer.

Former submariner Eric was wearing a tennis headband when he fielded but black-rimmed Groucho Marx glasses as a batsman. He claimed these were not comedy props and he needed them, but I wasn’t totally convinced as he developed the hint of a strange gangling run when he wore the Groucho glasses.

Meanwhile, Bob Slayer dressed in black with a normal white sun hat on his head which, when erect (the hat, that is), oddly made him look like a rather down-at-heel TV celebrity chef wearing a rugby strip. He did, though, manage the impressive multi-tasking triumph of drinking at least one pint of beer while fielding.

I had to leave during the second half to see a friend who told me tobacco companies had been discovered putting sugar in their cigarettes to make them more addictive.

And, mid-evening, Frank Sanazi texted to tell me that the comedians had lost by 69 runs – 209 to 140 – but that Bob Slayer had finished 31-not-out and was “now a comedy cricket legend, as he developed a batting style called ‘swatting’ in which he maniacally tried to bash every delivery like he was Zorro.”

An interesting cricket match.

Now there’s an oxymoron.

1 Comment

Filed under Comedy, Sport

One response to “The comedians’ cricket team goes down swatting

  1. Aha! – Cricket.. When I went for an interview from my very first (of many’m happy to relate!) jobs, I sat across from the Manager of the company and his first words were: “Can you play cricket, lad?” to which I was slightly taken aback and I uttered “Well, yes…” – “Right then!- you start on Monday the 3rd of January at 8-00AM and don’t be late!”. So yes, boring it is but it got me a job! – crazy.. My father told me it was becauses of the ‘inter play’ between the various departments within the company in question, this Manager wanted to win so, so much that sod what you may be able to do for 40 hours during the week, its what you can do on the pitch!. For the record, I never got round to appearing on the pitch as I left before the Season started as the lure of the cinema got me and I trotted off and became a projectionist at the local ABC.. But cricket was never mentioned during the interview plus playing in the dark would have been tricky unless you picked a long Interval when the Mivvies were going well from Mavis with her Lyons Maid tray, but I have reason to think the Civil Service runs on the same lines with the cricket element…

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