I am not technically-minded. I do not want to know how computers work. Which is why, after having one excellent Amstrad computer, I have only ever bought Apple computers. I bought my first in 1993.
I had one laptop which occasionally had problems – It had to have the DVD drive replaced twice. But I had had it for at least two, perhaps three, years when – in September 2011 – I took it in for a second time.
The Apple Store assistant took it into a back room, came back and said: “You’ve been having problems with this machine. Would you like a new one for free?”
As I say, I had had the machine for over two, perhaps around three years. It was well out of warranty.
“How much would the new one cost normally?” I asked.
“£2,100,” came the reply.
“I’ll have it,” I said.
About a week later, I was watching a BBC TV News report of Apple boss Steve Jobs’ death.
Around ten minutes later, my phone rang. It was Apple telling me my new laptop had arrived. It was faster, with more memory and a bigger hard drive than my previous laptop; they had given me the latest model with better specifications than my previous one.
Yesterday, in the Gilded Balloon venue in Edinburgh, I heard someone say: “If you want to see Steve Jobs, he’s along the corridor and down the stairs.”
Shortly afterwards, I saw a show called Jimmy Savile: The Punch and Judy Show
The two performers asked me not to mention them by name. This is unusual but I can understand their dilemma.
I would award 5 scars to Jimmy Savile: The Punch and Judy Show.
Yes, that is, indeed, five SCARS not stars.
I will need psychological counselling for years to come but, I suppose, it did come under that catch-all phrase ‘the spirit of the Fringe’. It was free and, not unreasonably, you had to pay to get out.
Juliette Burton – whose show When I Grow Up has already got five STARS tells me that, at a previous Fringe, when she was performing as part of the Mace & Burton double act, during the night at their flat, she once woke up both herself and fellow performer Lizzy Mace by ‘sleep-flyering’… “I was flyering in my sleep!”
Everyone is stressed during the Edinburgh Fringe except, it seems, my temporary flatmate Andy Zapp.
“Anything bizarre happen yesterday for my blog?” I asked him this morning.
“I never get stressed up here,” he told me.
Well, that is the most bizarre thing anyone has ever said to me at the Fringe.
Meanwhile, at Bob’s Bookshop, co-venue manager Miss Behave (who has broken her heel) is hobbling around on crutches at a speed which should make her eligible for the next Paralympics and has been re-decorating the window (partly by stretching out in it).
I seem to remember that, at one point before the Fringe started, her co-manager comedian Bob Slayer threatened to sleep in the window overnight every night as a form of art installation.
As far as I am aware, this has not so far happened. I think Miss Behave would draw more attention.
In the meantime, Bob is going around with an unexplained name tag on his chest saying he is RACHEL.
Today I think I may go up to see the view of Edinburgh from the Blackford Hill.
To understand why, you will have to read a book about Edinburgh which, I am told, is on sale from this coming Wednesday.