More embarrassing than being gay?

LesbianSymbolIn a blog a week ago, my chum Sue Blackwell (not her real name) told me about a time she had psychotic episodes.

Yesterday, she told me: “There’s something I missed out. One of the embarrassing things I said at the time of that breakdown was I announced that I was gay.”

“Announced to whom?” I asked.

“I don’t know.,” said Sue. “I can’t remember. I do remember telling a workmate who had not been keen on me even seeing a psychiatrist.”

“Who else?” I asked.

“Well, not all and everybody. I don’t know. I told my daughter.”

“How did she take it?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

“So you announced to people that you were gay,” I said, “but you weren’t?”

“Possibly not. I thought: Why did I say that?

“You must know if you’re gay,” I said.

“Well, never say never,” said Sue. “I mean, perhaps it’s repressed or something. I dunno. The gay man I was living with at the time laughed.”

“How can people not know if they’re gay?” I asked. “I mean, if I were gay, surely at some point during the long decades I would have got a hard-on looking at some boy band on Top of the Pops?”

“It’s very odd,” said Sue.

“I call it queer,” I said.

“I think probably going to the barn dance was probably more embarrassing,” said Sue.

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