Weird crime + a meditation on cleavage

Anna Smith ignores the BBC in Canada

Anna Smith lives on a boat in Vancouver

Another update from Anna Smith, this blog’s occasional Canadian correspondent.

Anna lives on a boat in Vancouver.

Vancouver seems to me an increasingly interesting and odd city. Anna tells me:

“The latest weird crime reported here is that, last week, a man had a large gold statue of an eagle – its head encrusted with diamonds and valued at several million pounds – stolen from his knapsack on the way home from church last week. Why he had brought it to church in his knapsack I don’t know.”

Cleavage meditation

A clarion call to meditate on cleavage

She tells me that, on 23rd June, a group called Transmission Meditation, as part of the Festival of Humanity at Vancouver Public Library, is staging what is billed as “a Group Meditation Overseen by The Masters of Wisdom”. This, the blurb continues, “provides a vehicle for service affecting the entire evolution of humanity for the better.”

The poster exhorts: “Join us for a unique group meditation with an explanation of the significance of the Spring Full Moons in relation to the spiritual energies pouring in to the world at this time, lighting up the contrasts of extremes to help humanity see the need for change – for example, the climate crisis and humanity’s relation to one another and all the kingdoms of nature. We are experiencing the sword of cleavage; we need to wake up!”

Anna also tells me of local performances by an Australian naked magic show whose selling line is:

GOOD MAGICIANS DON’T NEED SLEEVES.

GREAT MAGICIANS DON’T NEED PANTS.

League of Exotique Dancers - coming to Sheffield soon

The League of Exotique Dancers – coming to Sheffield soon

A couple of weeks ago in this blog, she was touting the joys of a burlesque documentary about the League of Exotique Dancers.

Now she (no stranger to the world of the exotic herself) tells me:

“I have just read that League of Exotique Dancers will get its UK premiere at the Sheffield Documentary Festival on 14th June.”

and

“My sister the priest has hired me to perform at a fair on her church grounds in a couple of weeks.

“She asked if I could be a clown.

“I said: Sure.

“She told me she could provide costumes.

“I told her not to worry since I have lots of them on my boat.

“She told me I could be paid a hundred dollars.

That would be great! I said.

But you cannot take your clothes off, she added.”

Swings and roundabouts… Swings and roundabouts.

The Lord giveth with one hand and taketh away with the other.

1 Comment

Filed under Canada, Humor, Humour, Sex

One response to “Weird crime + a meditation on cleavage

  1. Owen Morgan

    What a daft guy to be carrying such a valuable object in his rucksack!

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