It ain’t often that I get a press release from the leader of a British political party.
But, into my Inbox plopped a missive from Lord Toby Jug, leader of the Eccentric Party of Great Britain, who recently launched a bid to take over the leadership of UKIP.
Diane James quit as leader after just 18 days in charge and then there was that unfortunate incident at the European Parliament, where UKIP MEP Steven Woolfe was reportedly floored in fisticuffs by fellow UKIP MEP Mike Hookem. He then subsequently collapsed and was hospitalised with a suspected bleeding brain.
“The post of UKIP leader,” says the official Eccentric Party press release, “was made for a seriously deranged fruitcake like Lord Toby.”
The man himself says: “I’ve got my UKIP membership card now and party posters. I am a fully paid-up UKIP member. I even had the decency to send a personal £100 donation to Nigel Farage to have a good night out on the ale.”
He continues: “I think I am the best qualified for UKIP, since I was a schoolboy boxing champion at West Ham Boxing Club. I am now prepared to take on Nigel Farage’s puppet Paul Nuttall in the leadership contest. Once elected, I will personally dissolve the party before it inevitably implodes.”
Lord Toby founded the Eccentric Party of Great Britain after splitting with the Official Monster Raving Loony Party, has been contesting elections for decades and will be standing in the by-election at former Prime Minister David Cameron’s parliamentary seat. He ran unsuccessfully for the Labour leadership last year.
He says he was “stunned” when he found his application had not been weeded out by UKIP.
He is standing for UKIP leader with the slogan:
DON’T BE A MUG VOTE LORD TOBY JUG
Let’s hope he can bring a bit of sanity back into British politics.
One response to “I am approached by a UK political party”
A suitable candidate- shows how nuts UKIP actually are. I personally don’t think that the ‘Leave’ vote was down to UKIP’s influence at all, more just inherent British anti-Europeanism. Goodness knows why the nation’s populace is like that- might be because we won the War, more likely the raging anti-Britishness of Jaques Delors and Jean-Luc Dehane back in the late ’80s / early ’90s. I’d put my money on the latter- Maggie Thatcher didn’t help matters diplomatically, but remember back in ’75 the EEC referendum was a decisive ‘Stay In’. A new generation of more antagonistic Euro politicians came on the scene since then, jealous of the fact that despite the fact that we don’t have the British Empire any more, we are still a global force to be reckoned with- which is more than can be said for the likes of Belgium, Holland or Austria.