Copstick covers none of her own expenses and 100% of all money collected is spent on the charity’s work. She brings goods to sell in the shop back from Kenya (at her own cost).
Things do not always go smoothly. These are extracts from her diary this week.
BA is on time and I have slept the entire journey. With hope in my heart I text Benson in Nairobi for news of my precious cargo and its arrival in London. Air France offloaded it, I am told. Blah blah Kenya Airways blah blah strike blah blah tonight confirmed blah blah.
No sign of cargo.
Les The Cargo at Heathrow seems less than interested in letting me know what the fuck is going on and Benson The Cargo in Nairobi is just getting teary because nothing is his fault.
At various times over a very stressed day my cargo is reported to be:
a) still in Nairobi
b) en route to Paris
c) en route to Amsterdam
d) being trucked from Amsterdam to London.
Les announces he is closing at 3.30pm on Friday and if the cargo doesn’t come in today then I will not get it till Monday. I send off emails to Air France, KLM (who have somehow managed to figure in the equation) and get platitudinous drivel back. A threat of taking my business elsewhere is going to frighten no one as we are such small fry.
Today is not a good day.
And, as it wears on and nothing arrives, Neil The Man in Les The Cargo’s office displays all the people skills of Donald Trump in making me feel better about this disaster.
Email from Neil: Cargo arriving at 7.40am.
Leaving them plenty time to collect and deliver before 3.30pm.
But, because nothing was confirmed early enough, they are not going to collect and I will have to go to Heathrow Cargo Terminal myself. Great.
Luckily for Mama Biashara and all who sail in her, the absolutely wonderful Helen Cox comes to the rescue with the FinMobile – the van in which she transports her lovely hubby Fin and his wheels.
Not looking forward to this at all. Have cracked and taken a magic pill as I quite honestly could not see my way through all this without it.
Note to Shoppers: attempts to find ANY fault with ANY of the wonderful stuff I am bringing back to the shop this afternoon will be met with what I believe they call ‘extreme prejudice’.
I am so far past taking a joke that all my punchlines are now literal.