There have been a lot of news features on the Killer Bitch movie, sight unseen, but very few actual reviews of the full film. First there was the GoreZone 5-star magazine review:
“This is Grand Theft Auto meets I Spit on your Grave… A violent 21st century British pantomime for the MTV generation… A middle finger in your face attitude… This is a must-see… This film is in a league of its own and has to be seen to be believed… You may read this review and think the film sounds vile, disgusting and morally depraved and you’d be wrong – you forgot to add bloody fantastic as well.”
Then there was the 1-star review from the News of the World:
“This is the shoddiest excuse for a film I’ve seen in my life… Highlight, of course, is the Reidernator’s much-vaunted sex scene, where he’s channelling the passion and intensity of Beethoven (the giant St Bernard).”
Now there is the 4-star review from the AVmaniacs.com website:
“A bad taste ultraviolent black comedy, loaded with cursing, screaming, yelling and a higher body-count than even most films it could be compared to… If sunny nihilism and anti-social behaviour (not to mention blood, biceps, big boobs, and a topless midget!) with a Cockney twist floats your boat, hunt down KILLER BITCH.”
If you can get a 5-star review and a 1-star review for the same movie, you know you must have done something right somewhere…
I was talking to one of the Killer Bitch cast yesterday and (as one who knows) he came out with the legendary line: “I’ve got no money at the moment and xxxx xxxxxxx ain’t got no money either. The bottom’s fallen out of Crime.”
Has Britain fallen this low? Sir Francis Drake made England great by robbing Spanish ships of their gold and the East India Company built Queen Victoria’s glorious British Empire on the heroin trade.
We live in difficult economic times. Or do we? Opinion varies.
A recent report said organised crime caused “an estimated £30 billion a year in social and economic harm” to the UK. I’m not quite sure what “harm” means in this context. Presumably it means there is a £30 billion black economy underpinning the ‘legitimate’ economy. But it’s all guestimates on guestimates. A recent report by the Association of Chief Police Officers claimed the UK underworld economy is now worth around £40 billion a year.
I’m more concerned that fake DVD production is now reckoned to be worth £300 million in the UK. I had vaguely hoped Killer Bitch might be fairly immune to this because I had hoped that the people most likely to rip us off were actually involved in the movie in some way – and therefore highly unlikely to rip us off. I had, however, reckoned without the international nature of modern movie rip-off-dom.
Still, I am filled with hope for the future of Killer Bitch because Michael Deeley, the highly-regarded head of British Lion Films reportedly said, when his company released The Wicker Man in 1973, that it was the worst film he had ever seen. Years later, the equally highly-regarded Cinefantastique magazine devoted at entire issue to The Wicker Man, famously calling it “the Citizen Kane of horror films”, while the Los Angeles Times said it was: “Witty & scary! No one who sits through it to the end is likely to find it easy to shake off.”
Likewise, no-one who sits through Killer Bitch with an increasingly dropped jaw and open mouth is ever likely to forget it. Bland it is certainly not.