The subtle art of throwing a dart at a comedian or blowing a dart with a fart

What is it with darts and comedy at the moment?

At the Edinburgh Fringe last month, anarchic comedian and future ’new Barrymore of primetime TV’ Bob Slayer took it into his head to occasionally hang a dart board round his head so it was hanging either at chest level or in front of his genitals. He then invited members of the audience to throw real darts at it, which occasionally missed the board.

My memory is that, on at least one occasion, he dispensed with the dart board altogether and just invited people to throw darts at him.

Could I have imagined this?

Considering how likely it is that Bob would do anything that dangerous, I think it is highly probable I did not imagine it.

And now, today, my windy chum Mr Methane, the world’s only professional performing flatulist, has sent me an e-mail pointing out that he has refined the anal dart-blowing section of his stage act by creating a new type of dart which is more visible to the audience.

This fart-a-dart routine is the section of his show which he never performs on TV on the basis that, if you want to see it, you should buy his DVDs or come to his shows. It is a pity he did not do it on Britain’s Got Talent but, I suspect, primetime television is possibly not yet ready for demonstrations of anal dart propulsion.

So, to recap…

Bob Slayer asks people to throw darts at him… Mr Methane blows a dart with a fart…

I think I have an idea for a new double act, though I dread to think of the look on the faces of the staff at any local hospital’s A&E Department. They have enough trouble coping with an occasional person coming in on a Saturday night with a fish stuck up his or her bottom. (Fish scales only slide in one direction – do not think about it too much, but it is apparently not an uncommon occurrence in A&E departments at hospitals.)

Historical farts

Mr Methane phoned me yesterday afternoon, about a show he’s doing in Crawley on the evening of 12th February.

He’s the world’s only professional performing flatulist – a farter to me and you.

He’s very big in Japan and in Sweden and once, entering the United States to appear on shock jock Howard Stern‘s show, was recognised by a Customs man who asked for his autograph.

It has a long tradition.

Farting as entertainment.

People think it was started by Le Pétomane in the late 19th century.

But, even way back in the 13th century, Roland The Farter (also known as Berthold le Fartere) was a specialist jester at the court of England’s King Henry II. His only known duty was, at Christmas time, to perform “Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum“ (one jump, one whistle and one fart).

They were simpler days.