Tag Archives: hill walking

Reports of attacks by swarms of midgets

My local papershop owner has a sister or wife who works with him (I’ve never been too sure); next month, she is climbing Ben Nevis for charity. Well, walking up Ben Nevis for charity. She has never been to Scotland before.

Today her brother or husband (I’ve never been too sure) told me he had heard that, in warm, damp weather in the Highlands, walkers can be attacked by swarms of midgets.

He was not joking.

I had to tell him there were swarms of “midges”.

This story is slightly undercut by the fact he thought “midgets” must be the name of some type of flying insect, but the image of swarming midgets attacking wayward walkers is one I will long cherish and perhaps the Scottish Tourist Board should lay them on as an attraction in the years ahead.

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