Einstein, as explained by James Joyce, a Jewish comic and an 8-year-old kid…

(Image of Albert Einstein by Brent Dalling, via UnSplash)

Occasionally, of late, I have asked AI to write me stuff.

In this case, I asked ChatGPT to “explain in 200 words Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity in the style of James Joyce’s novel “Ulysses”…

The result?

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In the labyrinthine corridors of Einstein’s cerebral cosmos, there emerged a revelation, a theory of relativity, as enigmatic as the inner musings of James Joyce’s Leopold Bloom. Time, once considered an immutable river, was, in Einstein’s vision, a fluid and elusive current, dancing with space in a celestial waltz.

Like Bloom’s contemplative strolls through Dublin’s streets, Einstein embarked on a mental journey, shattering the Newtonian certainties that had held sway for centuries. He postulated that the laws of physics, those cosmic commandments, are the same for all observers, regardless of their motion. A simple axiom, yet its implications were as profound as the metaphysical reflections of Joyce’s Stephen Dedalus.

Einstein’s theory unveiled the relativistic nature of time itself. As a ship sails through the sea, its clocks, like the consciousness of Joyce’s characters, are subject to a dilation, slowing down or speeding up depending on its velocity. Thus, the faster one moves, the slower time ticks, entwining the fabric of reality with an indelible riddle.

The Special Theory of Relativity, in Joyce’s lyrical style, is an odyssey of thought, a journey into the profound depths of the cosmos, where time and space converge in an intricate dance, challenging our very perceptions of reality, much as Joyce’s Ulysses challenged the boundaries of literary form.

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I don’t think that was really the answer to what I asked. It was trying to link Einstein and Joyce, not explain the theory.

So I tried: “Explain in 200 words Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity in the style of a 1950s New York Jewish comedian”.

Remember this is an AI.

This is what I got:

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Ladies and gentlemen, let me break it down for you, Einstein-style, with a dash of that classic New York Jewish humor. You know, like my Uncle Morty used to say, “If you can’t explain it in a Brooklyn deli, it ain’t worth explaining!”

So here’s the deal, folks. Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity, it’s like the ultimate cosmic Borscht Belt routine. He’s saying, “Hey, forget everything you thought you knew about time and space, it’s all relative!”

Imagine you’re on a speeding subway train, right? According to Einstein, time itself starts playing tricks on you. Your watch ticks slower than your grandma ordering matzo ball soup. That’s right, time is like a stand-up comic, and it’s got its own sense of humor!

And then there’s the whole “E equals MC squared” thing. It’s like saying, “Hey, energy and mass, they’re like two cousins from the Bronx, and they can swap places!” Who knew your Aunt Sadie’s brisket recipe could explain the universe?

But here’s the kicker, folks. Einstein’s theory, it shook up the whole scientific establishment, just like a Catskills comedian shaking up a Borscht Belt resort. It was a game-changer, a real “oy vey” moment for physics.

So, in a nutshell, Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity, it’s like the punchline to the cosmic joke, where time, space, and energy all walk into a bar, and nobody’s quite sure who’s buying the next round. It’s a hoot, it’s a riot, and it’s one heck of a theory!

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This still wasn’t quite up-to-standard, so I then asked: “Explain in 200 words Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity in the style of an eight year old child”.

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Okay, so imagine you’re on a super-duper fast spaceship, like one from a sci-fi movie. Now, you have a super-duper clock with you, and your friend on Earth has a regular clock. But guess what? Your clock goes slower than your friend’s clock! That’s because when you go super fast, time feels a bit shy and slows down.

Now, imagine you’re riding a super-duper skateboard, and you have a flashlight. When you shine that light, it goes super-duper fast, right? But guess what again? Even if you’re on your skateboard going super fast, the light still goes at the same super-duper speed! It’s like the speed of light never changes no matter what.

Einstein, this super smart scientist, figured all this out and told everyone. He said, “Hey, time and light, they’re like a secret club, and they have their own rules.” So, his theory is called the Special Theory of Relativity because it’s about special stuff happening when you go super fast.

It’s like when you’re playing with your toys, and you have your own special rules for your game. Einstein’s theory is like that, but for the whole universe! So, remember, when you go super fast, time slows down, and light always goes super-duper fast. That’s Einstein’s big idea, and it’s super cool!

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So the moral is: if you want to know something, ask an eight year old kid…

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