Edinburgh Fringe education: “If the street is clean, your show is a failure.”

Four seagulls on a bombing run last night in Edinburgh

Four seagulls on a bombing run yesterday in Edinburgh

Yesterday morning started with me sitting in Fringe Central and 82-year-old Lynn Ruth Miller coming up to me.

Her first words were: “I saw a wonderful show on anal sex. It was so beautiful that I thought I might try it.”

“What’s the show?” I asked.

“I dunno,” replied Lynn Ruth. It was two years ago. It was performed by somebody from LA and that’s what they do in LA.”

“Where was the venue?” I asked. “Up a back passage?”

“I dunno but, of course XXXX just loved it cos he will just stick his anywhere.”

“Who’s XXXX?” I asked.

“You know. The guy who follows me around.”

“You have a stalker?”

Lynn Ruth shrugged.

“Is he openly gay?” I asked.

“No. He’s a policeman.”

After that, I saw:

Angie Belcher: Mythical Creature
Part poetry, part stand-up, part stylised storytelling. All entertaining.

Patrick Monahan - a hug and a cake

Huggy Patrick Monahan – it’s a piece of cake

Then I went to The Grouchy Club and, before it started, got a hug and a cake from Patrick Monahan. That is what you get whenever you meet Patrick Monahan.

David Mills: Don’t Get any Ideas
He’s on a razor-sharp roll – like some 21st century gay American 5-star Dave Allen – and he sang three songs backed by the 5-star Laurence Owen. Good voice. Nice suit. Very funny.

Jody Kamali: Spectacular!
At last showing his range with multiple characters, all of them commendably weird.

Archie Maddocks: Ain’t got No Behaviour
As I have said before, he is as near a dead-cert for success as it is possible to be.

Il Puma va a Edimburgo
The fortnightly London Italian-language comedy night brought to Edinburgh for the second of its two shows. I remain mesmerised by watching them because, as I speak no Italian, it is like watching the purest of comedy performances – I am watching 100% performance without the interference of any meaning or context. Fascinating.

The Italian Puma comics last night (from left): Giacinto Palmieri, Luca Cupani, Romina Puma, Giada Garofalo

The Italian Puma comics last night (from left): Giacinto Palmieri, Luca Cupani, Romina Puma, Giada Garofalo

Before their show started, I asked:

“What is the Italian equivalent of the English theatrical well-wishing Break a leg!?”

Luca Cupani (who is in next week’s final of the So You Think You’re Funny? contest) told me the Italian equivalent is: “Shit! Shit! Shit!

“If a play was successful,” he explained, “there were a lot of audience members, so a lot of carriages outside the theatre – a lot of horses – and they shit a lot.”

“So,” I said, “the more successful you were, the more shit there was?”

“Yes,” said Luca. “If the street is clean, your show is a failure.”

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